Couples hesitate to consider divorce when they have young children thinking how they should make a dysfunctional marriage work for the sake of their kids. But does that help or hurt?
This reframing of divorce as a life stressor rather thana guaranteed trauma is incredibly important. The distinction between the act of separation and the conflict environment that precedes it often gets blurrd in these conversations. I've seen families where post-divorce stability actually allowd kids to thrive in ways they couldn't when stuck in a high-conflict household. What really caught my attention here is the emphasis on emotional regulation modeling becuase that's soemthing that continues to shape a child's coping mechanisms well into adulthood.
Thank you for putting the points across so succinctly. As we discussed over the webinar, it’s more important that children have happy parents that parents who are together and unhappy.
Good overview article. I'm a divorce lawyer, and I'll say that in general most parents try to keep the kids away from the divorce. It is not easy. However, there are parents who actively alienate the children from the other parent. These parents either see divorce as a zero sum game, or are so wrapped up with their emotions that they cannot distinguish themselves from their children. I have literally seen parents tell judges, "My child doesn't want to see their father," only for the judge to respond, "Your child is only 12 months old." I have seen the devastating impact of alienation on the children and it lasts a lifetime. Many times I have seen the child turn from the alienating parent. Others, the alienating parent does the job too well. In the end, a child who has been alienated may well grow up unable to make health connections to other people.
This reframing of divorce as a life stressor rather thana guaranteed trauma is incredibly important. The distinction between the act of separation and the conflict environment that precedes it often gets blurrd in these conversations. I've seen families where post-divorce stability actually allowd kids to thrive in ways they couldn't when stuck in a high-conflict household. What really caught my attention here is the emphasis on emotional regulation modeling becuase that's soemthing that continues to shape a child's coping mechanisms well into adulthood.
Thank you for putting the points across so succinctly. As we discussed over the webinar, it’s more important that children have happy parents that parents who are together and unhappy.
Good overview article. I'm a divorce lawyer, and I'll say that in general most parents try to keep the kids away from the divorce. It is not easy. However, there are parents who actively alienate the children from the other parent. These parents either see divorce as a zero sum game, or are so wrapped up with their emotions that they cannot distinguish themselves from their children. I have literally seen parents tell judges, "My child doesn't want to see their father," only for the judge to respond, "Your child is only 12 months old." I have seen the devastating impact of alienation on the children and it lasts a lifetime. Many times I have seen the child turn from the alienating parent. Others, the alienating parent does the job too well. In the end, a child who has been alienated may well grow up unable to make health connections to other people.